Be Not Afraid - It's Just Boxes. It's Not Your Mama

My mother will soon be 89. Her cognitive function has been slipping sometimes slowly, sometimes rapidly. It is harder and more challenging for her to remember how to take a shower, how to fix breakfast, when to take her medicine, to distinguish between the phone and the TV remote. My sisters and I planned a three-week visit. I came from Georgia ten days early to give Kelli who lives near mother and deals with her increasing dementia every day. Then Shannon came so we could brighten the dark winter month for Mama and visit with one another, something that does not happen frequently. Also, we could talk face-to-face. All of us about what is coming. The need for change, for more support, for increased assistance in daily living.

It’s funny how God is always there before us and has us just where we are needed when the need is greatest. The day before I flew in, Kelli took Mama to the emergency room. Kelli and her husband canceled their retreat, and the three of us took shifts at the hospital for the next ten days, making sure Mama was never alone. She was so sick that the last two days she was hospitalized, Mama did not know why she didn’t remember the week before, at all. She didn’t remember any of the touch-and-go moments of pneumonia, enlarged heart, kidney failure. In a way, it was good not to recall the pain. The struggle to breathe. Not understanding why she couldn’t just get out of the bed and go home – sometimes to her apartment; sometimes to Texas where she grew up and raised her family but had not lived for years. Confusion, fear, not knowing where she was or why she was there.

We three sisters texted, emailed, talked on the phone, and concluded: now was the time. Mama was no longer safe in her apartment. She needed skilled nursing when she left the hospital. Mama wasn’t even strong enough nor cognitively functional enough to go to assisted living. She needed to be in a nursing home. Shannon arrived the day we moved her to her new environment. The visiting we did the next ten days was mostly over emptying her apartment and deciding what of her belongings should go where. It was overwhelming. It was amiable. It was hard. Praise God we had already planned to be together. As she asked years ago, we made the decision, even though she couldn't. Mama needed more, and we could provide no less.

Since we left, Kelli and Mama have been on a rollercoaster ride of emotion, confusion, and realizing just how right the move was. Will she recover her cognitive function? Maybe, but not enough to allow her to live independently. Shannon, the geriatric nurse practitioner, returned to remote support – always a challenging role, especially for Mama’s baby. I, the oldest, staring down 70 with a compromised immune system, came home with acute bronchitis. Mama has been on a roller coaster of emotions with her sock monkey, Buddy, always by her side.

A month later, my gracious, God-given husband, made a weekend round trip and brought home boxes and boxes and boxes. I watched the stacks of photo albums and genealogy files go to the attic, dishes to the dining room, linens, quilts, furniture … And as our wise and thoughtful son-in-law who came to help unpack the truck was leaving, he said, “Nana, remember, it’s just boxes. It’s not your Mama.”

With that, I think I can start one box at a time.

God abundantly supplies the needs of his children. He promises fountains, springs, rivers of water to provide for an overwhelmed and parched people. He reminds them. 

It’s just boxes. It’s not your Mama.

"I am your God ... Listen to me in silence … Renew your strength … Each one helps the other, saying to one another, “Take courage.” … do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand … 

It's just boxes. It's not your Mama. 

"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Do not fear, I will help you.” … When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst, I the LORD will answer them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them. I will open rivers on the bare heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys, I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water… 

It's just boxes. It's not your Mama.

"I am your God; I will renew your strength … Do not be afraid … I will strengthen you … Do not fear; I will help you." (Isaiah 41)

Remember. It’s just boxes. It’s not your Mama.

A Healthy Fear

A Healthy Fear

Abel’s flocks spread across the fields

Grew fat without effort

Cain toiled as his father warned

Dependent on sun and rain.

God was pleased with the fat

But not the grain

God smiled on Abel

But not on brother Cain.

Without fear of any kind

Cain killed Abel

Because God’s smile was turned

Toward his brother.

God sent him to wander

The earth abroad

No fields, no grain,

Nothing he knew how to do.

From Cain his sons learned

Wandering and emptiness

Hatred and how to kill

Yet still God protected them.

Cities instead of fields

Tools of copper and bronze

Music to cover the pain

Of the mark of Cain.

God gave Adam another son

Seth carried on with Abel’s herds and flocks

Seth carried on with Cain’s fields and grain

Son after son followed Adam’s sin

God touched the heart of each child

Giving to each another chance

To redeem his people

Or at least himself.

Finally after Methuselah who would be

The longest lived of all Adam’s kin

Who taught Abraham about

The God of his father Enoch.

Enoch walked in habitual fellowship

With God against whom Adam, Cain,

And those who followed sinned.

Enoch lived in reverent fear and obedience.

Not afraid or terrified, not quaking

Sure he would follow the sins of his fathers

But in awe and respect, obedient and

Seeking to please, walked in fellowship.

Enoch was not barred from Eden,

Enoch was not sent to wander the earth,

Enoch taught his son to love and fear

Not in dread but in assurance of redemption.

Enoch walked with God

Enoch was not found among men

Because God took him away

To be home with him.

Where do you think

Noah learned what he needed to know

To please God despite the depravity

And wickedness.

To walk in the quiet of the garden

Naked and unhidden

Not perfect, but knowing

How to live in fear without being afraid. 

Sometimes you should be afraid - of yourself

I knew I was in trouble. We were supposed to go to youth group and then to Sunday evening worship. We decided since I had the car and none of our parents were going to church that night, we could go downtown and cruise Polk Street where the airmen from Amarillo Air Force Base hung out on the corners. Somehow someone noticed. Daddy heard. He was standing at the front door when I got home. Something in his voice and the way he watched me as I walked from the car to the door told me he knew.

“Where have you been?”

How could I cut my losses? “We took Elizabeth home.” Not a complete lie. We did take her home after we went cruising. And I didn’t call, and we weren’t at the church. And I did not just tell the truth.

Daddy just held out his hand for my key.

Why do we cover ourselves with little white lies, not quite the whole truth, when we know we have done wrong, and the lie just compounds wrong doing? I knew from experience that telling the truth always mitigated punishment. I knew honesty often left just consequences, which were bad enough. 

Would I have kept my keys instead of having to call my friends and tell them I couldn’t drive to school or to the football game Friday night? Could I have still gone to the game? Maybe, maybe not. But I was scared. And my lie just made things worse. 

While certainly not like eating of the tree of good and evil, or lying to the omniscient God, my fear was real. Palpable. Overpowering. I knew.

“I was afraid because I was naked,” Adam said. No, he was afraid because he was caught. Only one rule. Temptation. Just say “NO” I want to yell at Eve. Then at Adam. Just tell God the truth!

⁹ But the Lord God called to Adam, and said to him, “Where are you?” ¹⁰ He said, “I heard the sound of You [walking] in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.”¹¹ God said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten [fruit] from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” (Genesis 3:9-11 AMP)

It seems easier to make excuses instead of saying I caved under peer pressure. Still, the car and the choice was mine. This is a healthy fear. It should prompt right decisions, like the truth. It seems so simple. Righteousness is always rewarded. The truth will always out. And yet. . .

³² And you will know the truth [regarding salvation], and the truth will set you free [from the penalty of sin].” (John 8:32 AMP)

³ For [civil] authorities are not a source of fear for [people of] good behavior, but for [those who do] evil. Do you want to be unafraid of authority? Do what is good and you will receive approval and commendation. ⁴ For he is God’s servant to you for good. But if you do wrong, [you should] be afraid; for he does not carry the [executioner’s] sword for nothing. He is God’s servant, an avenger who brings punishment on the wrongdoer. ⁵ Therefore one must be subject [to civil authorities], not only to escape the punishment [that comes with wrongdoing], but also as a matter of principle [knowing what is right before God]. (Romans 13:3-5 AMP)

Sometimes you should be afraid. Not of God, but of yourself.

Do not be afraid - God hears your pain

I went to the post office to get a money order to mail, along with a letter to Zach, barely making it through the door before it shut at 2:00, I was the last person in the long line. I couldn't help but notice that the post-people on duty were both likely immigrants -- an Asian woman and a dark-skinned man who could have been Muslim or Indian. I wondered how they felt today, with the uproar about immigrants.

From my Facebook Friend, Fellow Early Childhood Specialist, and Writer:

I just shared this on my private page for those who "love troubled souls." But I wanted to share it here as well because it is too good not to share with everyone.

Do I ever have a story for you!

Yesterday was one of the hardest. I began to identify with Mary who suffered along with Jesus at the cross. Though Zach is a far cry from Jesus, it does seem to be mothers who must be strongest and refuse to turn away from their child's agony. Heartbreaking.

When I stepped up to the counter, the dark-skinned man spoke with an accent that was obviously from India. He asked how I was, twice, and I gave a polite reply and asked how he was doing. He grinned from ear to ear, pointed to the ceiling and said, "As long as I have such a blessed relationship to Him, nothing else matters. I am happy!" I got a tear in my eye and told him that this was a blessing to hear, that I was getting a money order to send to my son who was incarcerated just two weeks ago.

And that is when business stopped, and we had church.

The man turned over my receipt and wrote, "Be still and know that I am God."* And then, he wrote "Psalm 41" -- and said I must read this. Then he said, "Wait, no. Did you go to school in this country?" And I said yes. And he said, "Then you can probably read the whole psalm quickly right now." He pulled it up on his iPhone. (Keep in mind he is a postman behind the counter after an incredibly busy day, and I am just a customer.) And so I did, and I got teary-eyed and thanked him. He assured me all would be well.

We finished up, and I went to the lobby to fill out the rest of the address, wiping at tears. And then I heard a disembodied voice coming out of the ceiling or air vent or somewhere say, "Please do not cry, Lady. Everything will be okay."

I looked up and joked, "God, is that you?" Then the Post Office Prophet stepped out from behind a door and said, "I also want to tell you to read Psalm 121. No wait, I will recite it for you." And so with hands outstretched palms up toward the ceiling he began,

" I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth...."

Then he lifted up his hand for a high five and left me with the words, "You must tell you son to just get in the boat and let God guide him the right direction. And everything will be okay."

I'm a puddle of tears by this point, but manage to say, "My son was a commercial fisherman. The boat picture will resonate with him."

I don't know about you, but my experience at the post office (ours is crazy busy and always long lines) doesn't generally come with a psalm, a sermon, and a blessing. I knew that I knew that I knew that I knew..... God was using his megaphone through this happy, willing vessel -- to speak personal encouragement to my heart.

*"Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

To my friend:

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear Psalm 46:1-2

Jesus Draw Me

 

KeithandKristyn Getty

  

Do not be afraid - for I am with you and will bless you.

Isaac and I

Life can be a struggle

Moving from well to well

From base to base

From home to home

Life can be an emptiness

Moving from desert to desert

From job to job

From acquaintance to acquaintance

             Life can be a fright

Moving from intrigue to intrigue

From mystery to mystery

From lie to lie

Yet in the darkness

The God of beginnings

Declares he is with you

Pours out his blessing

Build an altar

Call on the name of the Lord

Pitch your tent

Dig a well

Genesis 26:24 And that very night the Lord appeared to Isaac and said, "I am the God of your father Abraham; do not be afraid, for I am with you and will bless you."

Genesis 15:1 Do not be afraid, I am your shield

Walking in fear

Leaves me trembling

In the bitter and the cold.

Stripped of even false bravado

I find myself frozen

Unable to retreat or advance.

In my own power

There is no safeguard;

Only exposure to my enemies.

I buckle, uncovered and empty.

Even if I win, I lose.

Despair my only companion.

I am empty,

Nothing left to give or keep.

Then I hear a whispered shout.

"Do not be afraid.

Be calm, Be fearless.

Have no regrets. Stop trembling.

"I am your shield."\

I will protect you.

I will cover and defend you.

"In this place, learn to kneel

And bow your head.

No sword can touch you.

"Accept whatever comes

I am your sure guardian

Your champion and holy hedge."

Herein is all the assurance,

The salvation, which allows me to

Accept whatever comes.

Baby Step 17 - Watch for the heroes

Psalm 56:3 Whenever I am afraid I will put my trust in thee.

Mister Rogers’ mother told him: "Whenever you see something bad is happening watch for the helpers."

On March 30, 2002, a firefighter searching for victims of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks on the World Trade Center in New York, discovered a burnt Bible fused to a piece of steel. The barely legible top page is open to the Sermon on the Mount from Matthew 5, where Jesus speaks of “an eye for an eye” followed by “resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other."

http://www.history.com/topics/9-11-attacks/videos/remembering-911-the-ground-zero-bible

In your life make this your goal: focus on the donut and not the hole. 

God doesn't walk away. We often do in our helplessness and hopelessness not realizing famine will pass - feasting will follow.

Hope is embedded in our laments.

- Rev. Susan Landry

Baby Step 10: As Simple As 1, 2, 3

The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.”[1]

--John Pierpoint “J.P.” Morgan

  ‘Can’t they keep their minds on God for five minutes?
    Do they simply refuse to walk down my road?’[2]

It is easiest in the morning. Assuming you slept the night before, you have the energy to look forward. The willingness to follow your plan. The focus to honor your boundaries. Preparedness to accept the covenant you made with God.

Then evening comes, energy dissipates, willingness becomes buried in the need to escape, our attentiveness moves from plan to business as usual, focus and boundaries become blurred; we neglect to stay prepared.

How can you make positive changes in your life and behavior when each day is a struggle just to survive? How can you keep your mind on God when you fear the change you need to make will just leave you alone on the other end?

I wonder if Jesus, as he resolutely set his face toward Jerusalem and death, worried about this daily drift? Did he look at his disciples’ fear and lack of understanding would create a carelessness ending in an unintended destination?

God created a perfect plan to take the slaves known to the Egyptians as the Hebrews and form them into a nation of spiritual fortitude and power. He even hand-picked a leader and prepared him in the house of the Pharaoh, and among the herds and wilderness of the Midianites.

The nation that would become Israel and the disciples that would become the early church looked good on the surface. However, could they pay the price of success?

Today, like them, “each day is filled with thousands of opportunities to change the story of our lives. . . . [We need to position ourselves] to make the most proactive, intentional and beneficial decisions possible.” [3]

^7-12 If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. As it is, there’s not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we’re not much to look at. We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us—he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus’ sake, which makes Jesus’ life all the more evident in us. While we’re going through the worst, you’re getting in on the best![4]

It is as simple as:

1.       Deciding not stay where you are;

2.       Staying focused on God and his plan five minutes at a time; and

3.       Being willing to carry the visible message of salvation visible in our   brokenness. and weakness.

Bibliography

Hyatt, Michael, and Daniel Harkavy. 2016. Living Forward: A Proven Plan to Stop Drifting and Get the Life You Want. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books. Accessed March 2016. LivingForwardBook.com.

Petersen, Eugene H. 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. The Message. Carol Stream, Illinois: NavPress Publishing Group. Accessed March 18, 2016. https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Message-MSG-Bible/.

---

[1] (Hyatt and Harkavy 2016) p. 15

[2] (Petersen 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002) Psalm 95:12 MSG

[3] (Hyatt and Harkavy 2016) pp. 18, 19

[4] (Petersen 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002) 2 Corinthians 4:7-12 MSG

Lectionary October 11, 2015, Year B Proper 23 Twentieth Sunday after Pentecost

Job 22:1-9; 16-17, Amos 5:6-7;10-15, Psalm 90:12-17, Hebrews 4:12-16, Mark 10-17-31

Our daughter received the diagnosis: breast cancer. She is the first baby I bathed in the kitchen sink even before I knew how. She is 43 and has two children aged ten and nine. It is not right. It is not fair. It makes me angry. Like Job I look everywhere for God, but cannot find him. Alternatively, perhaps I know what he might say, so I do not want to find him.

Amos reminds me “Raw truth is never popular.” That is true whether it comes from the mouth of a doctor or the Word of God.

Paul’s letter to the Hebrews tells me “What God says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey.”

How often do I kneel and ask God to fix a situation, to heal a loved one, to give me what I want? Then I am surprised and taken aback when God does answer, but it requires more of me than I think I can give, much like the rich young ruler in Mark. Where is my humility? Where is my desire to be a living sacrifice? Where did I forget God is always God, and I am not?

So, I go from my knees to lying prone. My tears soak my pillow. I become still. I become quiet. I try to listen to God’s voice and silence my own. I remember Moses’s prayer recorded in the Psalms. “Teach us to live well,” I read the passages in the Gospel of Mark that record Jesus saying, “Go, let everything go. Come, follow me.”

I cannot change the diagnosis. I cannot change whatever the outcome will be. I can only let my child go into the arms of Jesus, into the care of others, from the bathtub to the surgical table, into God’s unfailing love.

Thought for the Day: Allow us, you and I, to listen and obey.

Prayer:
Eternal One, whose thoughts and ways are not ours, you alone are God, awesome, holy, and most high. School us in the ways of faith and wisdom that we may learn to truly see and hear, and in humility find blessing. Amen.

Pray for those who are grieving.

Lectionary Readings: Proper 23 – 20^th Sunday After Pentecost Year B – October 11, 2015 www.lectionary.library.vanderbilt.edu [retrieved October 5, 2015].

Bible: verses adapted from The Message (MSG) Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson

Prayer: adapted from The Revised Common Lectionary and Prayers ©2002 Augsburg Fortress Press.

Art: Israëls, Jozef, 1824-1911. The Day before Parting, from Art in the Christian Tradition, a project of the Vanderbilt Divinity Library, Nashville, TN.http://diglib.library.vanderbilt.edu/act-imagelink.pl?RC=50323 [retrieved October 5, 2015]. Original source: http://www.mfa.org/.

God Is My Strength and Salvation

Sat Dec 29

am: 18:1-20 pm: 18:21-50

Isa 12:1-6

Rev 1:1-8

John 7:37-52

Today, I feel physically and emotionally weak. I feel mentally and spiritually foggy. I didn't sleep much. The anxiety and panic has been draining, like a tornado trying to get out from the inside. I, the elephant matriarch, told my mother she shouldn't come visit.

Sinus infections, bronchitis, sore throats, and even pneumonia. Everyone is, was or will be sick before the first of the year. The Mayan Calendar did NOT predict that. Little sleep, lots of prayer.

I don't have to be strong because God is my ROCK - solid, steadfast protection against the vulnerability of pain, anxiety, fogginess and hard decisions.

Praise God, the storm on my insides is not nearly as strong as God's violent theophany. He, as a violent thunderstorm, leaves me in a place of stillness where I can be sure HE IS. Even when I am in turmoil, his grace is sufficient. He has loved me and freed me.

In my weakness and fear, my panic and anxiety Christ invites me to draw near. He invites me to drink Living Water. He invites me to cling to the Holy Spirit. He invites me to invite others to dip into the rush, the healing and the protection of River of blood. 

For Christ is the culmination of God's purposes and activities since before the beginning of time. Even our ability to HAVE faith is a result of God's grace - God's presence in our lives and hearts, enabling us to believe in the redemptive power of Christ's passion.

Dear God, thank you. I love you, O Lord, my strength. So, as David,  I pledge myself to you, for you have saved me from my enemies.  Thank you for reminders that you will treat me as I treat others. And so, like Isaiah I remain confident that that You are the  source of salvation that transcends you anger. So, like the prophet I can sing of trust in your salvation as a source of hope when my emotions, my body, my mind, and my spirit betray me. May my trust in you cause me to read or hear and obey your word. Thank you for your grace that allows me to believe. May your presence in my life and heart encourage me to believe in the redemptive power of the blood of Christ. Remind me of my commission to share your love and to reveal to others the convergence of texts revealing Jesus as the culmination of your purposes and activities. In the power of the Trinity:  Ancient of Days, King of Kings, and the Wind of the Word, may I encourage others to drink the Living Water. Amen.