Sometimes you should be afraid - of yourself

I knew I was in trouble. We were supposed to go to youth group and then to Sunday evening worship. We decided since I had the car and none of our parents were going to church that night, we could go downtown and cruise Polk Street where the airmen from Amarillo Air Force Base hung out on the corners. Somehow someone noticed. Daddy heard. He was standing at the front door when I got home. Something in his voice and the way he watched me as I walked from the car to the door told me he knew.

“Where have you been?”

How could I cut my losses? “We took Elizabeth home.” Not a complete lie. We did take her home after we went cruising. And I didn’t call, and we weren’t at the church. And I did not just tell the truth.

Daddy just held out his hand for my key.

Why do we cover ourselves with little white lies, not quite the whole truth, when we know we have done wrong, and the lie just compounds wrong doing? I knew from experience that telling the truth always mitigated punishment. I knew honesty often left just consequences, which were bad enough. 

Would I have kept my keys instead of having to call my friends and tell them I couldn’t drive to school or to the football game Friday night? Could I have still gone to the game? Maybe, maybe not. But I was scared. And my lie just made things worse. 

While certainly not like eating of the tree of good and evil, or lying to the omniscient God, my fear was real. Palpable. Overpowering. I knew.

“I was afraid because I was naked,” Adam said. No, he was afraid because he was caught. Only one rule. Temptation. Just say “NO” I want to yell at Eve. Then at Adam. Just tell God the truth!

⁹ But the Lord God called to Adam, and said to him, “Where are you?” ¹⁰ He said, “I heard the sound of You [walking] in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.”¹¹ God said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten [fruit] from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” (Genesis 3:9-11 AMP)

It seems easier to make excuses instead of saying I caved under peer pressure. Still, the car and the choice was mine. This is a healthy fear. It should prompt right decisions, like the truth. It seems so simple. Righteousness is always rewarded. The truth will always out. And yet. . .

³² And you will know the truth [regarding salvation], and the truth will set you free [from the penalty of sin].” (John 8:32 AMP)

³ For [civil] authorities are not a source of fear for [people of] good behavior, but for [those who do] evil. Do you want to be unafraid of authority? Do what is good and you will receive approval and commendation. ⁴ For he is God’s servant to you for good. But if you do wrong, [you should] be afraid; for he does not carry the [executioner’s] sword for nothing. He is God’s servant, an avenger who brings punishment on the wrongdoer. ⁵ Therefore one must be subject [to civil authorities], not only to escape the punishment [that comes with wrongdoing], but also as a matter of principle [knowing what is right before God]. (Romans 13:3-5 AMP)

Sometimes you should be afraid. Not of God, but of yourself.