Be Not Afraid - It's Just Boxes. It's Not Your Mama

My mother will soon be 89. Her cognitive function has been slipping sometimes slowly, sometimes rapidly. It is harder and more challenging for her to remember how to take a shower, how to fix breakfast, when to take her medicine, to distinguish between the phone and the TV remote. My sisters and I planned a three-week visit. I came from Georgia ten days early to give Kelli who lives near mother and deals with her increasing dementia every day. Then Shannon came so we could brighten the dark winter month for Mama and visit with one another, something that does not happen frequently. Also, we could talk face-to-face. All of us about what is coming. The need for change, for more support, for increased assistance in daily living.

It’s funny how God is always there before us and has us just where we are needed when the need is greatest. The day before I flew in, Kelli took Mama to the emergency room. Kelli and her husband canceled their retreat, and the three of us took shifts at the hospital for the next ten days, making sure Mama was never alone. She was so sick that the last two days she was hospitalized, Mama did not know why she didn’t remember the week before, at all. She didn’t remember any of the touch-and-go moments of pneumonia, enlarged heart, kidney failure. In a way, it was good not to recall the pain. The struggle to breathe. Not understanding why she couldn’t just get out of the bed and go home – sometimes to her apartment; sometimes to Texas where she grew up and raised her family but had not lived for years. Confusion, fear, not knowing where she was or why she was there.

We three sisters texted, emailed, talked on the phone, and concluded: now was the time. Mama was no longer safe in her apartment. She needed skilled nursing when she left the hospital. Mama wasn’t even strong enough nor cognitively functional enough to go to assisted living. She needed to be in a nursing home. Shannon arrived the day we moved her to her new environment. The visiting we did the next ten days was mostly over emptying her apartment and deciding what of her belongings should go where. It was overwhelming. It was amiable. It was hard. Praise God we had already planned to be together. As she asked years ago, we made the decision, even though she couldn't. Mama needed more, and we could provide no less.

Since we left, Kelli and Mama have been on a rollercoaster ride of emotion, confusion, and realizing just how right the move was. Will she recover her cognitive function? Maybe, but not enough to allow her to live independently. Shannon, the geriatric nurse practitioner, returned to remote support – always a challenging role, especially for Mama’s baby. I, the oldest, staring down 70 with a compromised immune system, came home with acute bronchitis. Mama has been on a roller coaster of emotions with her sock monkey, Buddy, always by her side.

A month later, my gracious, God-given husband, made a weekend round trip and brought home boxes and boxes and boxes. I watched the stacks of photo albums and genealogy files go to the attic, dishes to the dining room, linens, quilts, furniture … And as our wise and thoughtful son-in-law who came to help unpack the truck was leaving, he said, “Nana, remember, it’s just boxes. It’s not your Mama.”

With that, I think I can start one box at a time.

God abundantly supplies the needs of his children. He promises fountains, springs, rivers of water to provide for an overwhelmed and parched people. He reminds them. 

It’s just boxes. It’s not your Mama.

"I am your God ... Listen to me in silence … Renew your strength … Each one helps the other, saying to one another, “Take courage.” … do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand … 

It's just boxes. It's not your Mama. 

"For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Do not fear, I will help you.” … When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue is parched with thirst, I the LORD will answer them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them. I will open rivers on the bare heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys, I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water… 

It's just boxes. It's not your Mama.

"I am your God; I will renew your strength … Do not be afraid … I will strengthen you … Do not fear; I will help you." (Isaiah 41)

Remember. It’s just boxes. It’s not your Mama.

Do not be afraid - God hears your pain

I went to the post office to get a money order to mail, along with a letter to Zach, barely making it through the door before it shut at 2:00, I was the last person in the long line. I couldn't help but notice that the post-people on duty were both likely immigrants -- an Asian woman and a dark-skinned man who could have been Muslim or Indian. I wondered how they felt today, with the uproar about immigrants.

From my Facebook Friend, Fellow Early Childhood Specialist, and Writer:

I just shared this on my private page for those who "love troubled souls." But I wanted to share it here as well because it is too good not to share with everyone.

Do I ever have a story for you!

Yesterday was one of the hardest. I began to identify with Mary who suffered along with Jesus at the cross. Though Zach is a far cry from Jesus, it does seem to be mothers who must be strongest and refuse to turn away from their child's agony. Heartbreaking.

When I stepped up to the counter, the dark-skinned man spoke with an accent that was obviously from India. He asked how I was, twice, and I gave a polite reply and asked how he was doing. He grinned from ear to ear, pointed to the ceiling and said, "As long as I have such a blessed relationship to Him, nothing else matters. I am happy!" I got a tear in my eye and told him that this was a blessing to hear, that I was getting a money order to send to my son who was incarcerated just two weeks ago.

And that is when business stopped, and we had church.

The man turned over my receipt and wrote, "Be still and know that I am God."* And then, he wrote "Psalm 41" -- and said I must read this. Then he said, "Wait, no. Did you go to school in this country?" And I said yes. And he said, "Then you can probably read the whole psalm quickly right now." He pulled it up on his iPhone. (Keep in mind he is a postman behind the counter after an incredibly busy day, and I am just a customer.) And so I did, and I got teary-eyed and thanked him. He assured me all would be well.

We finished up, and I went to the lobby to fill out the rest of the address, wiping at tears. And then I heard a disembodied voice coming out of the ceiling or air vent or somewhere say, "Please do not cry, Lady. Everything will be okay."

I looked up and joked, "God, is that you?" Then the Post Office Prophet stepped out from behind a door and said, "I also want to tell you to read Psalm 121. No wait, I will recite it for you." And so with hands outstretched palms up toward the ceiling he began,

" I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth...."

Then he lifted up his hand for a high five and left me with the words, "You must tell you son to just get in the boat and let God guide him the right direction. And everything will be okay."

I'm a puddle of tears by this point, but manage to say, "My son was a commercial fisherman. The boat picture will resonate with him."

I don't know about you, but my experience at the post office (ours is crazy busy and always long lines) doesn't generally come with a psalm, a sermon, and a blessing. I knew that I knew that I knew that I knew..... God was using his megaphone through this happy, willing vessel -- to speak personal encouragement to my heart.

*"Be still, and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

To my friend:

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear Psalm 46:1-2

Jesus Draw Me

 

KeithandKristyn Getty

  

Genesis 21:17 Do not be afraid, God has heard

     So Abraham rose early in the morning, and took bread and a skin of water, and gave it to Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, along with the child, and sent her away. And she departed and wandered about in the wilderness of Beersheba.

The Repudiation of Hagar

Steen, Jan Havicksz. (1626-1679). Painter

Around 1655/57

Dresden Gallery, Old Masters, Germany

     When the water in the skin was gone, she cast the child under one of the bushes. Then she went and sat down opposite him a good way off, about the distance of a bowshot; for she said: “Do not let me look on the death of the child.” And as she sat opposite him, she lifted up her voice and wept.

     And God heard the voice of the boy; and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven, and said to her, “What troubles you, Hagar? Do not be afraid; for God has heard the voice of the boy where he is. Come, lift up the boy and hold him fast with your hands, for I will make a great nation of him.”

    Then God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water. She went, and filled the skin with water, and gave the boy a drink.                                                  Genesis 21:14-19 NRSV

     

     The story of Hagar and Ishmael can be found in Genesis 15-21, with a brief interruption for the story of Sodom and Gomorrah in parts of chapters 18 and 19.

     The first time she leaves Abraham’s and Sarah’s tents, pregnant Hagar felt compelled to flee. She left without permission or notice, an act forbidden by law. The angel of God found her, and in the act of justice sent her back to be submissive to a bitter and jealous mistress. God does send a soothing promise for her wounded spirit. Ishmael might not be the Child of Promise as Isaac will be, yet he would be the child of a promise made to her. She names the well Beth-laharoi: the well of Him that lives and sees me.

     For fourteen years Hagar and her son live with all the tension and bitterness Sarah’s impatience brought about. Then after Isaac’s birth Hagar and Ishmael begin to manifest their jealousy. When Ishmael begins to maltreat Isaac, Sarah has Abraham ostracize, repudiate, and expel Hagar and her son to certain death in a barren wilderness with only as much water and bread as she could carry. Hagar’s extremity becomes God’s opportunity. Abraham gave her a bottle, God gives her a well.

adapted from “Hagar” in All the Women of the Bible 

by Herbert Lockyer.  

     The life and experiences of Hagar teach us:

• ·         The temptations incidental to a new position;
• ·         The foolishness of hasty action in times of trial and difficulty;
• ·         The care exercised over the lonely by the all-seeing God;
• ·         The Divine purpose in the life of everyone not matter how obscure or friendless;
• ·         How God works out His gracious purposes by seemingly harsh, but just, methods;
• ·         And the strength, comfort, and encouragement that accompanies the hardest experiences of               His children.

adapted from “Hagar and Ishmael” in The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia 

by Dr. James Chrichton. 

Recall a time in your life when you felt invisible to the world. Abandoned. Alone. Isolated. 

In the comment section below, share what happened that caused you to know you had not escaped God’s notice. 

Tell how God saw you – right where you were. 

How did you experience God’s freedom and grace, instead of the justice you deserved?